A Nepali Wedding

My friends Doris and Roger came to visit from California. They were headed for India for a month of sight-seeing, and decided to spend some time in Nepal, since they knew someone there. I met them at the airport in Kathmandu and they were introduced to Nepal traffic. After a fifteen-minute ride through narrow streets, we arrived at our hotel.

We spent three fun days in Kathmandu. We flew next to Mt Everest, climbed the steps to the Monkey Temple, explored Durbur Square, and did a little shopping. We hired a taxi to take us to a couple of local villages, living in traditional Newari style.

We flew down to Bharatpur, and after one night there, we headed for the jungle. We rode elephants and hiked through the jungle (with guides) trying to spot the local wildlife. We saw 2 hippos (they were HUGE), a few crocodiles (from a distance), monkeys, birds, and other assorted animals. Lots of fun, but exhausting.

The last day in Bharatpur, the neighbors across the street started dancing and singing aruond 7:00 in the morning. I went out to see what was going on and saw the house gaily decorated. A troupe of traditional Nepali musicians were playing traditional Nepali music, and four past-middle-aged women were dancing traditional Nepali dances. I started taking photos, and the family invited me inside.

A young man came up to me and told me this was a wedding. His brother was getting married. He asked if we would like to come along.

Of course, I said "Yes."

I called up Doris and Roger at their hotel. "How would you like to go to a wedding?" I asked.

Doris thought for a moment, then asked, "Do we have time for breakfast?"

I told her to eat and then come right over. Meanwhile, friends and relatives from all over town began arriving. A Tuk-Tuk appeared, and like a clown circus act, out poured 10 people - adults and children - and three adult goats. The goats would be sacrificed in honor of the bride and groom.

Doris and Roger arrived in a pedi-cab, and soon after, the whole party started walking down the street led by the musicians. The women were still dancing. I kept looking for the bride, but saw no likely suspects. The groom was wearing a new suit, new shiny black shoes, and a necklace made from pine needles and feathers.

At the end of the street, everyone stopped. Two huge buses drove up, and the people got into them. The groom and his father and sister and assorted other relatives piled into a car built for 4. Some people rode motocycles and had a passenger on the back. The musicians sat on top of one of the buses, and continued playing, even after we started driving down the street.

The wedding party wheeled down the main market area, crossed the big bridge, and headed out of town.

"Where are we going?" Doris asked. I had no idea.

We stopped at a toll booth, and a bunch of the bus passengers climbed onto the roof of the bus. Roger decided to join them. Why not.

About 30 minutes later, the buses, motocycles, and groom's car finally stopped. In the middle of the country on a busy highway. Everyone got off the bus, and we followed the crowd. We could see a decorated house up ahead, and several men waiting in the front. This was the bride's house.

We paraded to the house, musicians playing and women dancing. When we got there, everyone began talking at once. It was hard to figure out what was going on. Nepali weddings are not like western weddings. There is no priest or rabbi at the front of the audience, no silent crowd witnessing the ceremony. It's more of a free-for-all; everyone talking at once, each one telling someone else what to do. One older man was reading ancient sanskit text, while another was anoiting the groom with milk and flower petals. The bride appeared. She circled the groom 3 times, pouring water from a brass jug onto the ground. Rings were exchanged and vows were spoken. Then she was whisked away and the ceremony continued without her.

There was so much going on, it was difficult to see everything.

I noticed some of the women going around to the back of the house, so I motioned to Doris and we followed them. We had no idea where Roger was.

We went down some steps and found ourselves in the back field. A tent had been set up and food had been cooking in giant woks. Doris and I were placed in front of the food line. It was pretty good, although a little spicy. The bride and groom were there also, but not eating. The groom was smiling. The bride was not. She would not look at the groom or at anyone else. Doris and I went to them to give our blessings, then left to look for Roger.

We found him on the road walking around. We didn't know how long the party would last, so we flagged a bus going back to town. Roger rode on top again. Two old men gave up their seats for Doris and me. I took their pictures.

Back in the market area, the bus got stopped by traffic. After about 15 minutes, we decided to get off and walk the rest of the way - about a mile. Everyone else decided to get off at this point and walk also.

Around 6:00 that evening I was walking around outside my house when the wedding party arrived. The groom recognized me and gave me a wave. The musicians were still playing and the women were still dancing. Around 10:00 that night they stopped.